Birthday Girl

I can't believe it's been 5 years since my water broke at the Gardiner's house and I drove myself to the hospital in enough time to deliver a healthy, baby girl, who has blessed my life immeasurably.  Kenzie really is a light in my life. She is constantly reminding me of the importance of simple, pure, childlike love and life.  She is a delight to be around. She has a little fan club of kids who are younger than her who love to play with her. I'm sure it is because she is patient and so gentle with little ones.  Kenzie and I spend a lot of time together because the older girls are in school and Evelyn still sleeps so much during the day.  I have learned to be a better mom so I actually some days spend hours drawing pictures, playing Barbies or pretending to be a princess or queen from long ago from a far way land.  I can't imagine my life with out our Kenzie girl.

On her birthday she requested pancakes with strawberry syrup, blueberries and strawberries on top and whipped cream. 

 Since she didn't want to wait to open her doll house until her birthday I hid her present from Gramie and Gramps so she'd have something to open on her actual birthday morning!  She was so excited...

 the beautiful package...

 the beautiful package inside the beautiful package and the card

 the Holiday Barbie - of which she said, "I always wanted one of these but you'll never spend that much money on a Barbie!!!"

Late that day Kenzie's little friend McKenna came over for lunch.  Mac and Cheese (from the box - is how McKenzie specifies Kraft Mac and Cheese not homemade!) with more blueberries and strawberries.  Then lots and lots of Barbie playing!

 And as tradition would have it a picture in front of your birthday wall of fame!

Happy birthday McKenzie Lou Who. We're so lucky to have you!

Early Birthday Gift

McKenzie has wanted a new doll house for a long time and with the move and everything we promised the girls if they got rid of their old doll houses and some of their older toys we'd get them a new doll house. That's what Kenzie wanted for her birthday more than anything. Since I don't have much time during the week when I am not with McKenzie she was with me when I got her doll house and she did not want to wait for her birthday to play with it.  It's been hours and hours of fun this week.

Photo Shoot

Taylor and Hallie have been trying really hard to set up a photo shoot for them and their dolls for their new room.  They coordinated their outfits, did doll hair and then begged Rendell to let them use the nice camera to get frame worthy photos for their new room. 

Pretty good if you ask me.

Puff the Magic Dragon

There must really be something special about Puff the Magic Dragon  because as a child (and even now) when I hear it I stop what I'm doing and sing along.  Every time I hear the familiar tune I instantly feel the safety, security and love I felt seated by my mom while she sang.  My siblings and I would sit as close to her as we could and she would strum the tune on her guitar and sing softly to us. 

Now I sing it to my kids and they love it.  I sing Puff the Magic Dragon at least 4 times, usually more because Kenzie likes it sung more than once to her, at bedtime.
  
The other night while I was singing it to Kenz and Evelyn I actually started to cry because it brought a flood of memories of my beautiful mom sitting on the floor with us kids, singing.  Again the love and peace I felt from her came back to me.  It was almost like a silent prayer from heaven filled the room as I hoped that maybe, just maybe, my kids would feel that same way when they heard the familiar melody. 

I know there are moments I mess up and mess up big as a mom. I'm not as patient as I hope to be or as emotionally stable as I should be.  Sometimes I'm more critical than necessary.  But when my children are grown I hope they will remember many a nights the sound of my voice singing Puff the Magic Dragon. 

I don't know if it's the words of the song or the sound of the melody that makes us love this song so much but man oh man am I thankful to good old Puff for being part of our lives for what is now generations and hopefully many more to come.  And I am forever indebted to my sweet, sweet mother for sharing her talents with me and encircling her family with love.

 (This is exactly how I imagined Puff and little Jackie to look like thanks to Disney's Pete's Dragon)

House for Sale

It's crazy to think we are really going to try to sell our little house.  There is something special about a house (even if it's been a complete loss of investment and money pit for the last 6 years).  There are many memories made in this little house and I have to admit I'm kind of sad to sell it.  We feel like it's the right time for our family to move on and we've certainly outgrown it (Evelyn is sleeping in a closet) but it doesn't mean we won't miss it.  We've put a lot of work into making this house how we wanted and now that it's how we like it it's hard to say goodbye. Then again maybe it won't sell for a few months so it's not like it's all over just yet.  Here are a few pictures of the house when everyone is sleeping and everything is cleaned up, which doesn't happen very often but it's a nice thought!

Refining Moments in Life

The last few months in our life have been life changing and refining and a roller coaster and stressful and happy and encouraging and on and on.  About 2 weeks ago I sort of hit a wall.  I had, had enough of the unknown and lost it.  I cried and I cried hard to poor Rendell about feeling inadequate when it comes to receiving revelation, being a terrible mom who never has enough hours in the day to meet everyone's needs and feeling like we run faster then we have strength on most days and yet I can't think of dropping anything or adjusting much else.  AND THEN I FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE I AM SO INCREDIBLY BLESSED AND REALLY HAVE NOTHING TO COMPLAIN ABOUT!  Thankfully Rendell handles my emotional outbursts like most things in life, he just finds a solution.  The solution on the night of my meltdown was a priesthood blessing.  I can't say enough about the gratitude I have for the priesthood. Priesthood blessings have always been a direct line of communication for me with Heaven.  What a treasure it was to know that I'm doing what I need to be doing and although I feel very uncertain about our future we're headed in the right direction. That means a lot.   So, now the outburst is over I can focus so much better.

I have had little lessons lately that have kept me focused (a little better anyhow).  Recently, in observing my little ones I have been surprised at the faith, hope and charity they each possess.  It has been another reminder to me of the importance of becoming more like a child. More submissive, meek, and humble.  I love how children "know" they are the best at everything they try.  "I can leap all the way to the sky!" "I can draw a picture just like an artist!"  And they listen to their parents (most of the time) and believe what people tell them.  

During a quiet moment of private prayer with one of my girls last week I learned another lesson.  She was praying like normal, "thank you for this and that.  Please help me with this and that."  And then she said, "Heavenly Father, I am praying to you.  Do you know that I am praying to you right now?"  I thought, "this little girl knows who she is praying to and at this very moment she is hoping to feel His love surround her."  It is ok to pray like that.  Sometimes I just forget (too often)!

And then there are days like this: (I had to secretly run and get my camera because I never wanted to forget this moment!)

when you enter your daughter's room only to find her searching the scriptures for an answer to a question about the Apastasy and the Priesthood.  Really?  How do I get that desire to know and learn back in my life?

Learning these things from my children and after having spent some time with my parents and some of my siblings recently, I feel like I better understand the importance of the family unit.  Don't we all learn from one another? Don't we all have so much to gain from each other?  It is a gift to have been born into a family who love and care for one another and who hope for and pray for one another.  I suppose this is what makes the times in life that are uncertain or down right gut wrenching bearable.  

Sick

 We've been so sick at our house.  We had a little stomach bug and ear infections. Little Kenzie even had pnemonia.  It was horible. She spent several days in bed or on the couch with a high fever and zero energy.  Occasionally she'd find enough energy to sit up while we read Where the Wild Things Are, Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day,and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Poor little thing! But, in true Kenzie style if she ever need a drink or medicine or an icepack or a blanket she always asked with a "please" and received with a "thank you!"